The summer months passed while I was thus engaged, heart and
soul, in one pursuit. It was a most beautiful season; never did
the fields bestow a more plentiful harvest, or the vines yield a
more luxuriant vintage: but my eyes were insensible to the
charms of nature. And the same feelings which made me neglect
the scenes around me caused me also to forget those friends who
were so many miles absent, and whom I had not seen for so long a
time. I knew my silence disquieted them; and I well remembered
the words of my father: "I know that while you are pleased with
yourself, you will think of us with affection, and we shall hear
regularly from you. You must pardon me, if I regard any
interruption in your correspondence as a proof that your other
duties are equally neglected."
I knew well therefore what would be my father's feelings; but I
could not tear my thoughts from my employment, loathsome in
itself, but which had taken an irresistible hold of my
imagination. I wished, as it were, to procrastinate all that
related to my feelings of affection until the great object,
which swallowed up every habit of my nature, should be
completed.